I tried to write a heartbreaking story in just a few words. I am not a writer and I will never be, I would just like to know your opinion. You can be completely honest and tell me if you think it works and if you think it doesn't. When you have time, I mean. I do not want to bother you, I know you have many messages to check work. So answer me someday when you have free time. Here it goes: "I loved you, my sweet cold little one. But you could never love me."

I like the simplicity of it, and the theme. But maybe you could find a way to talk about love without directly mentioning it, you know what I mean? Like, write about the theme of unrequited love in a more subtle way. Show instead of tell. :) And I also think that it sounds a bit better to say “my sweet little cold one” instead of “my sweet cold little one.” But that part is just my opinion.

I hope that helped! :)