1. He tells you that you can never wear a little black dress because they don’t
come in your size. But what he doesn’t realize is that they don’t make them
in your size, because apparently it’s so hard for dressmakers in the high-stakes
fashion world to realize that a woman with curves is bold and beautiful.
2. He only touches your body in the dark
and avoids the places where the flesh grows thick and sweet, like a plum.
So turn the lights on when you’re making love
and force him to see every part of you, to drink it all in and accept it
without giving away anything.
3. When you go out for dinner dates, he constantly tries to seat the pair
of you in the back of the restaurant so no one can see. If some of his buddies
from college come up to him, slap him a high-five and want to know
the lowdown on “that plus-size chick,” he says that you’re a third cousin
visiting from North Carolina.
4. Spill your drink all over his lap, and then his friends’ laps, too.
5. On Sunday, you catch him eyeing the girls’ skinny jeans section
at the mall. Skinny jeans can go fuck themselves; they’re just tight pants
and you can wear tight pants too. Who ever said that skinny jeans
are reserved exclusively for skinny people?
6. You were not a mistake or a tragedy; you were a candle melted down
and made into beautiful, broad flesh. If the body were a landscape,
yours would be the most gorgeous tourist attraction in the world.
7. Flaws are not fatal. If he tells you this, remind him that human beings are just
a bundle of flaws. And hey, how many times has he forgotten to take
out the trash or walk the dog or text you when he’s going to be home late?
8. He can’t have his cake and eat it too.
9. Cover all the mirrors in the house with old curtains
and refuse to reveal them unless he stops looking for some deep meaning
in their silvery depths.
10. You were not fat. No, fat is just a word.
You are the moon made flesh, Mona Lisa with a few extra pounds.
But either way, Mona Lisa always looks pretty damn good.
11. You have a fat heart, the kind that could stop a dam
from overflowing.
And that’s what counts.