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a year of sorrows

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December 3rd:

i woke up

with my hands shaped around

your absence.

December 18th:

your side of the bed feels cold.

December 29th:

i cook dinner for two

then realize only one person

lives here anymore.

January 12th:

write, drink, sleep.

repeat.

hope that it is enough.

January 26th:

i clean out your half of the closet,

and save only one of your favorite

shirts, which i will keep in my drawer.

May 2nd:

remembered you

for the first time in a long while.

realized

that i am forgetting what you look like.

October 16th:

all this talk about the stages of grief

and how to pick yourself up,

go forward, move on.

so

goddamn

tired.

November 8th:

even your bones have disappeared

from my mind.

what did your hands feel like?

December 3rd:

hit the year mark.

they say it gets easier

as time goes by,

but god,

all i want

is you.


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