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"it's not me, it's you"

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Are you sleeping with someone else he asks;

I shake my head no, but my eyes probably tell a different story:

that every time he walks into a room my heart explodes,

and not even a specially-trained SWAT team

could clean up the mess it left behind;

his mouth gives me water damage an ocean would only

dream of. He leaves his underwear wherever he removes it,

in bed, in the living room, sometimes even in the front hall

if we’re both in a good enough mood, and I’ll find it

like a puddle on the floor, a gift waiting to be unwrapped.

Am I too boring, he inquires, but he forgets about the time

the rainstorm in New York City forced us to run three miles

just to hitch a taxi, and he carried me piggyback

the whole way, until we got in the back seat and he took off

all my wet clothes when the driver wasn’t looking

and gave him an extra tip when it dropped us off at home.

Octopuses are jealous of how good a lover he is

with only two arms; ships would fall to pieces and slowly sink

at the sound of his voice; peanut butter wishes it could

stick to the roof of his mouth.

Did I say something wrong, he begs, but the pickup lines

he scrawled me on the back of a napkin

when we first met in a bar would put

even e.e. cummings to shame. (He once brought

a bouquet of fresh pears to my office and serenaded me

with “i carry your heart with me” in my cubicle.)

So when he finally asks what’s wrong, I don’t have the heart

to tell him that he’s really just too good for me,

and I’m afraid that one day he’ll wake up and realize

that he could sleep with so many better women.

When I leave, I place the box filled with my hair beneath his pillow

so that he’ll always have a few pieces of me

to remember me by, and take one last look at his sleeping face

before shutting the door quietly behind me.


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