Out of the twenty-four apology texts you’ve sent me
in the last two weeks, the best one said,
I know that you and I have our disagreements
sometimes, but just know that if your heart
were a goldmine, I would spend the rest of my life
panning it for treasure.
The first time we slept together, the high I got
afterwards kept me off Prozac for a month-
you wanna know why? Because your mouth
was better than my daily dosage of medication.
But even Noah’s ark eventually got overloaded,
and suicide bombers would still pull the plug
even if the person they loved most of all
were standing directly in front of them.
And although neither of us could pronounce
Zach Galifianakis’ last name correctly when we
were together, at least your kisses don’t get me
so drunk that I have to appoint someone else
as my designated driver anymore.
