at first i wanted you to fuck me, hard,
so i could hurt in the process.
but then i just wanted your jaw pressed
against the small of my back,
where it dips into my spine.
i didn’t want you to cut into me like a knife
or pour salt in my wounds.
instead of hurting myself on purpose,
i thought, why not do it accidentally?
so i waited until you left the house for work
and then smashed every goddamn plate in the cupboards.
and when that was done, i moved on to the good china.
the truth is,
if you break something,
it’s almost as good as breaking yourself.