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an apology letter on behalf of your father, who rejected you for being gay

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Listen, I know you are so quick to fashion nooses for all

your problems, but loving other men is not one of them.

So let the rope fall and cut it loose, and hand over the knife to

your father instead as retribution. What you admit to him,

this “coming out," is not a mistake, like a baby grand piano

falling from a New York City rooftop and crushing several

passersby below. The only mistake is that your father will react

as if the closet is a basement, a dirty living space infested

with rats and last night’s leftover Chinese takeout.

Closets shelter the things that protect us, the things we wear

over our own bodies, whether they be hoodies or jeans

or sweaters, to guard the fragile epidermis underneath.

But being in a metaphorical closet is a way to shelter people

who should not have to be sheltered, because they have

committed no crime and are not disaster zone victims;

they are only people who love better than many of us know how.

When your first boyfriend proposed, he got down on his knees

and pulled out a ring from his pocket as a promise

to remain with you through better or worse, through drunk

pavement kisses and one-night stands, through sleeping alone

and mortgages that never end. But the only one who should be

getting down on his knees now is your father, and he should be

begging your forgiveness, for treating his only son like garbage

instead of a human being that took 9 months to make.


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