Oh my goodness, I definitely didn't phrase that right! I know you're not a thesaurus (which I've already consulted) I just meant tips on correcting those lines which just seem inherently wrong. Would it be best to just leave it and come back, do you think?

I would leave it and come back, if I were you! Often if you take some time off from a poem and let it rest, you’ll think of something new and fresh while you’re focusing on another activity. :)