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part apology note, part love letter, part goodbye

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I hope this poem finds you well

I hope this poem reminds you of how I learned my ABC’s

by tapping out Morse Code on your spine when I couldn’t sleep at night

I hope this poem is a way to soothe my bellyache at the thought

of your eyeteeth and how someone else’s mouth once tasted them like me.

This morning even the kitchen was missing you; the hardboiled eggs

grew soft with grief and the toast melted into buttery loss,

but let me tell you something that I remember: my mother fed us

bedtime stories of vampires that couldn’t be killed with garlic nor stake,

and I like to think that our story is like this too,

that it will always be reincarnated into another form

but never ever die- into a rabbit or two clouds that refuse to part,

and did you know that I never feared monsters under the bed,

because being separated from you was terrifying enough?

I hope this poem finds you jaywalking or mountainbiking

or eating sandwiches with a complete stranger in the deli

we used to inhabit back when the only exhales we regretted

were the ones that didn’t contain each other’s names.

I hope this poem finds you on the subway to Manhattan

to an apartment filled with colorful yarn rugs and two cats

and the life we could have lived always chilling out

on the backstep like an ornery ghost.

I hope this poem is part apology note, part love letter, part goodbye,

because I can’t really tell if it’s any of those things

but just know that I hope someday we actually end up together

even if it’s just in someone else’s memories.


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