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the first time we slept together, you told me you wanted to die once

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In the darkness, your wrist with every red thread was brighter

than the moon, and my hands the needle, trying to stitch you up.

There were mornings when the wind came in from the sea

and lifted the papers nailed to the yellow corkboard walls

until they rippled like moving flesh, each one covered

with tally marks for every day you looked out a window

without trying to scare yourself away from jumping through it.

Every bone was a bridge to the next, back of your spine

like some creaking shadow box I filled with all my favorite things as a child,

discovering each new knob with more joy than the first.

For awhile, I felt like the same person I had been before,

lying there tucked to your chest, everyone else waking

to make coffee or trying to convince themselves

to get up on the right side of the bed, but then I remembered

how you had touched me as if trying to turn the ocean

into a completely different shape, to make it full instead of shapeless,

touched me like mountains were something you could move,

and even though nothing was really different,

everything was.


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