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On Being Unhappy in a Relationship But Not Wanting to Leave

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Some days “you and me” just feels like a rattlesnake:

dangerous and life-threatening but poison too sweet to let go of.

There’s never been any wound I’ve wanted to keep more

than the one we’ve both made venomous together.

Just to be clear, our relationship can be hot and cold,

but no matter how many days I wake up on the wrong side of the bed

with you on the right side feeling like my chest is full of icicles,

I will always wait for the mornings when I wake up

with skin full of flames and kindling, ready and willing

to kiss you at a moment’s notice.

My grandmother used to say that reading a couple’s palm lines

is the best predictor of how both of them will end up

or even if they’ll last to the next month,

yet I know our lines have crossed a dozen times and sometimes fought,

but always return to the place

where they first joined together.

On the nights when you and I feel as far apart

as the North and South Pole, I just keep reminding myself

that soon we’ll feel as close as Florida and the Atlantic Ocean.

Because when I was child, I did my best to nurse butterflies

with broken wings back to health, and realized that sometimes,

the things that are the most delicate

are also the easiest to repair.


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