Tonight, even breathing
seems like something I should fill out a job application for
since I have to work so hard at it.
Once, I thought about renting
a bus and painting the word Love on the outside
like some people do with ships, so the motto would be
love will take you anywhere. But then
I realized that passengers would make a conscious decision
not to ride it since they already know
what a painful experience love can be.
When we went out for dinner and he offered to take
the check, I said, Go ahead,
but you don’t always have to pay for me.
What I really meant was,
Loving me is worth nothing. I come for free.
My favorite stars are the emotionally unstable ones
that can’t decide where they want to rest in the sky,
so they choose all the possible places.
If I were a star, I would probably
come visit his house at night once or twice.
Maybe even three times.
When I took off my dress that one time
while the cicadas caught up on conversation outside,
I put my heartbeat on repeat.
I wanted him to loop it on his iPod, so he could hear me
even when I wasn’t with him.
When I took off my dress that one time for him,
I didn’t mean, I want you to see me naked, I meant,
I want you to see me as I was at birth,
before all this happened between us.