Things to say to someone who does not wish to exist

5000letters:

“Hey, whoa
I find you beautiful. And I don’t know you man,
I don’t need to. Because you exist so much I can see the footprints 
you’ve left behind in all the places you’ve walked, because your essence?
It is in every damn thing that you have ever touched and every person who has seen your smile and thought ‘wow.’ 
The spoons in your kitchen cabinet will rattle for you if you’re gone,
and who is going to feed the cat?
And did you know that everyone eventually finds their way back home and it’s okay

it’s okay to be lost inside yourself for days and years because there will always be somebody waiting with a ladder to climb down and pull you back out when you’re ready 
and maybe you think that’ll take too long or be too difficult because your sadness
is so bone deep it feels acidic, like your bones are eroding inside of your body but my darling
they’re not.  
You are allowed to be sad and fuck anyone who says otherwise just don’t stay there for too long
eventually you’ll feel fragile
eventually you’ll need someone to grasp you by the shoulders and press their mouth against your ear and whisper
‘hey, breathe, okay, I’m here.’  

You are not fleeting or transitory because you think life is too short to make a difference.  
You exist and that means you’re special because not everyone manages to make it and those who do are always punching the air and saying ‘heck yeah’ because by being alive
you make everyone else alive too.  

And your gaze, is like a sucker punch to the stomach 
because you’ve seen misery and you’ve been on the edge and looked over it and wondered if maybe you should just leap but try not to
because after the edge there’s nothing else but there is always tomorrow and there is always those people who will turn you light and feathery
like mum’s Sunday soufflé 
and nibble on your shoulders and you will taste of hopeless and desperation for awhile but you just need to breathe a little harder
and a little longer wait it out life will surprise you 

And baby,
when you blink, I swear I see the galaxies shutter and flicker behind your eyelids and it is almost as though you are every constellation brought to beautiful life. 

Tell me not to lie to you, not everything is always going to be okay
there are days when you are going to feel like poison
and the tattoo of your veins in your wrists will not console you and the sound of your own heart will be war drums or battle cries
and those
are the days that you don’t have to do anything at all lie beneath your covers and eat yourself into a sugar coma and watch The Lion King back on back ignore every single phonecall and text message and if that’s not enough 
(there are moments where it will never be enough)
just call me or call anyone, any damn stranger on the street who has seen your smile and they will tell you

‘Hey, whoa, you’re beautiful!’

Inspired by writingsforwinter