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shame

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In Sociology class today we talked about how some men treat women

like a piece of meat. And there’s something so terrifying about that,

because women are these beautiful creatures that are nothing

like a slab of steak or a medium-rare ribeye.

Gloria Steinem once said that we’ve begun to raise daughters

more like sons… but few have the courage to raise our sons

more like our daughters. Let me tell you about a girl named Eden.

And Eden’s a fictional character, she’s a figment of my imagination,

but for millions of girls and women she’s all too real.

Eden was blamed for being raped because of the clothing she wore,

because she showed too much skin.

But when did it become more about the “reasons”

and less about the choices? A man makes a choice to rape a woman

out of greed and lust. That’s not a reason.

Listen to me: there is never a reason for rape. There is never an excuse.

Women are like the moon; they’re radiant, they shine.

The body is luminous because it wants to be.

Yet as a society all too many people put a body on a platter

and stick a fork in it, and call it love.

That’s not love. That’s bullshit.

Kitty Genovese was stabbed in New York City in 1964 outside of her apartment,

and then she was raped by Winston Moseley.

The attacks lasted half an hour.

Can you imagine that? I hope you can’t. I sincerely hope not a single one

of you can, but I know some of you do,

because you’ve been through it.

We’ve made our bodies out to be bomb shelters and hurricane-proof glass

and fire escapes, but why can’t we just let them be temples instead?

We shouldn’t have to ready ourselves for a disaster,

because there should never be one.

Let’s just open our doors and windows to the light. The space between

our legs is an altar and no one goddamn better pray at that altar

unless they’re allowed to.

But no. I’m not finished yet. It happens to boys too. And when it does,

those boys are called weak and helpless and girly.

They’re called faggots. Because men are supposed to be these strong

creatures who can lift two-by-fours on their backs and pull cars

with their bare hands, but some of them are just as vulnerable

as the rest of us. Men get raped too. It happens in prisons,

in alleyways, in dark street corners.

It happens at home.

But the sad truth is that men are treated as shameful

when they’re hurt, and women are treated as if they were

“asking for it.” In a society like this no one can win.

The only thing we can remember is that not a single one of us

is a piece of meat, and not a single one of us has the right

to touch someone in a way that makes them uncomfortable.

And that’s not enough and never will be, but it’s a start.


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