1. I’ll still love you even when you don’t shave for weeks and your beard gives me rashes.
2. You’ve got a heart so big that even Texas couldn’t swallow it up.
3. The last time you left a voicemail on my answering machine, I saved it for seven weeks, until my mother yelled at me to stop “playing that damn thing.”
4. Two strangers meeting and then growing old together is not a coincidence if their chance meeting was an act of fate.
5. I’m no psychic, but I’d bet that you were the only one for me, and always will be.
6. Goddamn, your sleepy morning face is fine. And shit, look at those boxers, and that messy hair, and the way you drink your coffee with one hand.
7. I know you’ll always remember to buy the eggs at the grocery store if I forget to buy the milk.
8. When a ship washes up on shore, the bones of its hull rub so hard against one another that they wear each other down to the grain.
9. You’re never too old for Disney.
10. Yes, my father-in-law can be an asshole sometimes, but he helped make you, so that’s got to count for something.
11. The lemonade you sold for a nickel in second grade at that little stand on the corner tasted like shit, but your mouth tastes like a five-course meal.
12. The bathroom in the gas station down the street still has your name scrawled on the wall where I wrote it after I met you at the counter and you gave me free gas ‘cause you said I was pretty.
13. The Nile River is 4,180 miles long. That’s not nearly as long as the scarf I’d knit for you if you were ever stranded in the middle of an abandoned town in -30 degree weather.
14. I’d eat your silence whole if it meant the seeds of your quiet would bloom into roses in my stomach.
15. I was the girl who put Elmer’s glue on her hands in fifth grade and let it set for five minutes, then peeled it off. I wish I could do the same to your skin, just to see what all your organs and bones look like.
16. I even love your ghosts.
17. Schrodinger has a cat named after him because of his famous thought experiment. I’d be the crazy cat lady except with a twist: all my cats would be named after you.
18. Yesterday a 23-year-old New York woman found a ripped Vera Wang wedding dress wrapped in plastic, lying in a dumpster. I wonder whose wedding got called off. One thing’s for sure, ours never will be.
19. I can only sleep with the lights on. Thankfully, you’re a night reader.
20. When I take showers, I hear your soul rattling around in the pipes.
21. Damn, if you were liquid nitrogen, I’d be frozen everywhere.
22. You made me understand that leaving and gone are not synonyms.
23. When I die and turn into a ghost, you’re the only one I’d ever haunt.
24. Hey.
25. I have to tell you something.
26. I’m still here
27. And I don’t think
28. You’re going anywhere
29. Without me.
30. (Let’s grow old together).