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Hi! Well, I wrote this poem and was wondering if you could give your honest opinion: "the freckles seem to dance on her cheek. her gold hair looks like the sun. her smile is brighter than all the stars. but she doesn't know that." What do you think? Could you give me some tips on writing? I really do not want to bother you because I know you receive many messages, then respond when I can. Well, thanks anyway!

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Hello! I love the personification of “freckles.” Maybe you could come up with a better description for her hair, though. I feel as if comparing someone’s gold hair to the sun is a bit overused. The whole thing is simple and sweet, though, and I like that. It would also be nice if you expanded upon those three sentences and developed the poem more, just to give it a little more depth.

If you need any more writing tips, please browse through my tips page: www.writingsforwinter.tumblr.com/tagged/writingtips

:)


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